Doomsday Advice: How to Balance Your Professional Life and Stay Motivated If You’re Struggling in Your Personal Life
“There’s a big difference between challenging yourself and punishing yourself. The main clue that helps you decide which is which is if you forget to breathe.”
― Anonymous Peace Corps Volunteer
One of the appealing characteristics of the world of nonprofit and social enterprise is that when you find the right cause and people you work with, you don’t just feel satisfaction from doing work you enjoy, but a kind of pride for your contribution to something important. But regardless of whether you are in this line of work or not, you have to make a conscious decision and ongoing effort to maintain balance in your personal and professional life. While it can be tempting to push yourself to do more to save the world, it should never be done while sacrificing your personal life and well-being.
In my own life recently, I’ve had to move homes with my two dogs and also help out a loved one who contracted typhoid, then ended up going to the vet three times for my dogs. On top of this, some important relationships have abruptly changed, and of course, the financial consequences of moving and other life events puts a strain on me. The end result is that even if you are highly motivated and passionate about your cause, love your colleagues and organization, and want a better world, you still can’t throw yourself into your work and forget about yourself and any problems you have–your quality of work will suffer even if you do this.
Balancing your personal and professional life can be likened to this obvious reminder: if your personal life isn’t doing so great, your professional life suffers; if your professional life isn’t going well, your personal life can become miserable.
Here are some things to consider specifically for those of us working in social enterprise and nonprofits with causes. Please note we are focused on a western perspective and that some cultures and organizations handle things differently, so take these variables into account when applying some of these tips.
Don’t forget to breathe
I can’t emphasize this enough: when life overwhelms you whether it’s from having deliverables on an urgent deadline or from dealing with things like a divorce, breathe. In both the literal and metaphorical sense, you should breathe because some personality types get lost in thought or lost in work and even if they have enough coffee to power through for ten hours on an eight-hour workday, your body and your mind will eventually both reach a state of burnout. Yes: burnout is not just mentally checking out, burnout is a physical state where stress and overexertion can cause you to suddenly be unable to function physically and invite far worse things besides ulcers.
Whether it’s closing your laptop, turning off mobile notifications, and allowing yourself ten minutes to do nothing but breathe–nothing fancy, just breathe–actually take the time to breathe and empty your mind of all work and life worries. Separate the church and the state: your ten minutes of breathing is yours, whether you are a Zen monk or just need to stop thoughts. If you practice yoga or light stretching, feel free to do that too. Just take ten minutes to breathe and don’t include your worries and deadlines for those ten minutes. Those are yours and yours alone. No one can breathe for you.
In addition to taking time to physically and literally breathe, make sure you have a checklist of things: are you eating or have you eaten? If not, put something in your mouth because being hangry is a real thing: your blood sugar is affected and working on an empty stomach with stress magnifies anything bothering you significantly. After breathing and eating, remember to see if you’re resting enough. Cover the basics and don’t sleep at your desk or eat while working—if you rest, just rest, and if you eat, don’t skip your lunch break to eat while typing away at the keyboard–you need your break times. If necessary, even take a short leave to get your house in order before coming back to the office.
Don’t forget to ask for help
When I informed my colleagues that I was moving and handling a few emergencies that were impacting my ability to sit down and fulfill all my professional obligations, they were nothing but supportive. Granted, some larger organizations may not be interested in your personal life and are focused on deliverables and deadlines, but you lose nothing by focusing on your well-being and being honest with what you can realistically accomplish.
By communicating with your colleagues and supervisors, you allow them to plan for any changes in productivity, such as seeking assistance by delegating responsibilities in order to lighten your load without losing any momentum with work.
You might even find from being open and honest that outside of your professional expectations and responsibilities, the people you work with are also human and may offer more support than just picking up slack, but even share some personal advice and friendship since they know just as well as you do what your work involves, and may even relate to some of your present struggles.
Whether you are finding people to help with picking up slack or getting an advance on your paycheck, or even getting someone to realize that they should invite you to happy hour and vent together some frustrations, help is there–but people can’t offer that help if you don’t communicate it. There are some people who may feel too proud or too shy to ask for help, but regardless of the reason for being hesitant to verbalize this to anyone, no one can offer to help you if you don’t ask.
Remember what you wake up for and what you come home to every day
When you feel you lose motivation, remember what it is that makes you like a warrior who wakes up every day to fight the good fight and bring home the spoils: what is the cause you are advocating for with your organization? What is it that makes you smile from ear to ear for the life you want to build for yourself? When you remind yourself of this, you’ll motivate yourself to remember why your work is important to you, and why what you get from your work besides your paycheck is what allows you to build and live the life you deserve.
Do you want the blind to be able to have more resources for learning if they don’t have the privilege or access that they deserve? Do you care about inner city youth? Do you want stray puppies and kitties to always have food, shelter, and love? Whatever it is, these things should be what get you energized to stand up and not give up when you feel like everything is hopeless, because you are that hope for others.
When you finish your work bringing a little more love and light to the world, what do you want to come home to? A house full of plants, rescued dogs and cats, a library of science fiction and fantasy, and great food you are proud you are able to cook for yourself? Whatever it is, be it simple or silly, it’s you: you have to create that environment that brings you joy, even if parts of your life are falling apart. If you don’t have something to wake up to or come home to, your life is not in balance, professionally or personally, and you must constantly work on figuring out what this is and building upon it.
Remember that you matter
Lastly and succinctly, when you can’t make heads or tails of what to do or where to start because you feel your personal situation is too complex to simplify and break down into small goals, then it’s time to take a break and focus on you if you have that option.
You are not a robot to be exploited by work even if you’re the one who programmed the robot yourself. Your house or apartment also needs to make you feel like you’ve truly come home when you walk through the door at the end of the day, even if it’s a mess. You are not just occupying breathing space when you are out in the world and amongst people–you are an individual human being with feelings, needs, and dreams, and if you forget this, then you can’t help or serve others no matter how important your cause is and your role in serving that cause.
If you believe others matter, then so do you.
The first cause you must be passionate and proactive towards fighting and advocating for is yourself, because when you are in balance, you are in a better position to fight and advocate on behalf of others, and when you are struggling, there are people who will fight and advocate for you too.
