An Old Friend Returns to A4A, Part 4: Pausing, Not Quitting

Homo vitae commodatus non donatus est.

  ("Man's life is lent, not given" - Syrus)  

"When tired, rest. When hungry, eat." - Zen saying

One of the most important and overlooked things that has been repeated by many is the concept of rest when it comes to balancing one's professional and personal lives, otherwise known as work and life balance. Batteries have a limit to how long they run before they need to recharge, so why can't you? 

I had been working non-stop since I left my graduate school program. Even when not employed, I was freelancing or volunteering, or making preparations for major moves between countries. While there is an excitement of working in the NGO and development world that I didn't have in conventional work in the private sector, your body has limits and needs breaks. It was a popular Millennial norm to find work that you enjoy so that it doesn't feel like work when you proudly boast about 60-80-hour work weeks. 

Unfortunately, no amount of craft coffee, passion, pride, or fun colleagues and enjoyable work can make up for the actual strain on your body. Where young professionals once felt that they could do anything and were invincible, they didn't even need to hit middle age before their bodies started communicating that they needed a break, and when ignored, the mental strain became more apparent. From falling asleep on a keyboard to irritation and snapping at people, loss of boundaries between personal life and professional mode, it was a demonstration that moving from the "Work hard, play hard" mindset of my generation to the "Do what you love so you never need to work" mantra was not a step-up. People fought for a 40-hour work week as a result of the Industrial Revolution and the need for labor rights, and while many now find that this is not enough to pay the bills, unfortunately, your body and mind will eventually pay when faced with inadequate self-care, especially if you have the option to hit the pause button and take a breather. 

When I had come to a critical point between contracts, my body refused to get out of bed any earlier than noon, even if I just lay in bed from my normal time waking up to go to work, getting up only to drink water or relieve myself in the bathroom. It was a sign of burnout, and thankfully not major burnout, but enough to show that I needed to give myself time to rest and recuperate. 

The way I lived being unhealthy wasn't immediately obvious, but the signs were there: taking more work in order to impress my managers, thinking about deliverables at ten in the evening and spending time on weekends giving myself a head start on writing and editing videos. I was doing well professionally, while my basic health and hygiene were suffering: some evenings I would forget to shower and brush my teeth, and in order to compensate for fatigue, I'd drink lots of coffee and eat large servings at lunch. When I was forced to take a break after I finished a contract, I would spend my days resting, and reacquiring healthy habits and routines because yes, if you neglect them enough, you will forget to do them, and this is a major sign of growing depression and other mental health issues. 

If basic care for yourself isn't enough of a motivator, remember that this is a professional decision to invest in yourself, just like you would invest in additional skills and education certification. If you aren't operating at 100%, are you really giving your best? Don't bother answering if your response has a "but" following it. 

Here are some insights on the necessity of pausing, but not stopping:

You are not a robot

Forget the language of the workplace and economy for a moment and remember that productivity shouldn't come at the cost of living. Surviving is not living, otherwise, a drowning person is considered in good health since he's not dead. If you believe you can rest when you're dead, you may end up like some men under 30 who die of stress-induced heart attacks. No matter the level of urgency for your work, whether it's getting that proposal in to send mosquito nets and seeds for agriculture to a village or securing funding for the children's hospital, you can't save the whole world on an empty stomach. Even if you have to take time off, if you've invested in your social relationships and learned to work with others as detailed in the last part, you'll be able to accept that work can continue with and without you, even if your absence and contributions are felt. Also remember that robots run on batteries, so in your case, your time is your battery, not just food and sleep.

Stepping back allows others to shine

Imagine that sports teams have all-star players opening the game and alternates waiting on the bench: if they played the whole game, they would lose efficiency quickly as fatigue kicks in, while those on the bench remain benchwarmers who are bored, anxious, and upset that they don't get a chance to come in and give their best too. If you still can't respect yourself enough to take a break, then do it for your team so that you can be more effective both individually and collectively, while allowing them to grow without being dependent on you, and you can help work towards creating a sustainable and independent project rather than a dependent and codependent mission.

Pausing is not quitting, withdrawing is not running away

In Sun-Tzu's The Art of War, one of the great strategies is to withdraw. It is not heroic to charge into a losing battle thinking that by force of will that you can rise up and win, nor is it cowardly to assess the costs and benefits of going into a guaranteed loss and to fall back and retreat from a losing battle. If the great armies of Ancient China can find good ways to approach situations, regroup, and reassess their readiness and capability, so should you in the modern age with more resources to not just help yourself, but for your colleagues and projects to help themselves. 

Conclusion

Take breaks for yourself. The body needs rest, as does the mind. Likewise, putting in more effort into work isn't going to finish a project better or faster, as there are other variables besides your own contributions. 

Next: Living the Dream, Not Daydreaming